Steampunk Weekend at Old West Fest

In anticipation of going to the Old West Festival near Cincinnati, I worked on a leather shoulder holster for my Saboteur 66 from Dr. Grordbort's. I finished it on Thursday and while I recognize the bad stitching and the dye that is much darker than I wanted or expected, it is a passable piece of work revealed as mediocre only on closer inspection.

I found that through the weekend, because it is an obviously plastic toy, kids seem inclined to reach out to touch or even try to pull it from the holster without asking permission. Sorry, kid. I don't mind showing it to you but it being a toy doesn't mean you can just reach out grab it.

I left before 5 in the morning so that I could arrive at opening. It wasn't raining when I left but I drove through quite a bit, clearing just as I arrived. Even though the rain had stopped, there was a lot of water on the ground and the wet apparently suppressed attendance.

Earlier in the year, Anna was at a garage sale and made a posting online about a zeppelin picture she found for $10. She didn't have the space for it anywhere but I agreed to buy it for $10. I mean, how could I pass that up? I agreed that I would pick it up at TeslaCon. In the meantime, I had completely forgotten about it and she contacted me about making the transaction at Old West Fest

I ran into her first thing on arrival but got together later in the day to transfer it from her car to mine. It was then I got a better look at it and was able to confirm that it was, in fact, the Graf Zeppelin and not some other airship. With that confirmation I was able to track down that this was the Graf Zeppelin passing low over Wembley Stadium during the first half of the 1930 F.A. Cup Final. The airship was booed by some of the crowd who thought it might distract the players.

The print is worth $30. The frame perhaps another $60 at least. Not bad for $10.

At the Steampunk Symposium earlier in the year, I spoke with someone about the possibility of "working" the festival. He said I would need to be a Single Action Shooting Society member and, since I was, I thought that might work out. I made mention of that on the festival website but got no response one way or another. I took my real guns just in case.

I found out from the guy running the show that to actually shoot I would need to be a member of their local group, the Big Irons Rangers. I suppose that's for insurance reasons. Even so, on Saturday they were a little short handed and needed people to die in the street during the gunfight. I could totally do that.

I put on my duster so I wouldn't get my nicer clothes muddy and, when the time came, I took a bullet in the gut, pirouetted around twice, and sprawled in the street.

Later, I played the role of deputy during a jail break. I was to stand in front of the jail and get shot. As the scene progressed, I suddenly realized that I needed to perform dialogue. Thankfully, I was informed by the dialogue of countless western films, making it easy to improvise:

"We come to see our friend. Heard it was visitor's day."

"No. No visiting today. Come back tomorrow."

"We're just here to see our friend."

"I'm sorry, sir, but there are no visiting hours today. You can take your friend home tomorrow when he's sobered up."

"No, he's going to come home tonight."

"Excuse me, sir. That's close enough. . . Move your hand away from that gun."

"You mean this gun? You should be worried about THAT gun."

"What?"



At which point I was blasted by the guy with the shotgun approaching from my left. I threw myself against the wall of the jail and slowly crumpled forward in a heap on the boardwalk. (This picture is from the second run on Sunday. The guy had a pistol and said "What are you jaw'n about? Just shoot 'em.")

Before the end of the day, I put on my "dying duster" and was gunned down in the street yet again.

Later, the guy running the scenarios talked at length to me about how some people don't follow direction or can't improvise. I took this as a compliment because if I were one of those people for my performances, he probably wouldn't be talking to me like that. Later he was more direct in complimenting me on the way I threw myself against the wall before going down during the jail break

I won the costume contest. The prize was a certificate and a t-shirt. I won the weapons category in the gadgets contest. Only got a certificate for that.

I've been at this for a long time. I've won plenty of contests and it doesn't matter much to me anymore. Honestly, it didn't really matter much to me in the first place but, with experience, I don't care whether I win or not. Better that someone new get a chance in the spotlight.

At the end of Saturday, a place called Mamma's Grill was recommended. They had a huge menu and their specials were very reasonable. I had an 8oz steak, shrimp, a BBQ chicken breast, potato and a salad for $15.99. I'm used to paying $18 or more just for the steak and shrimp. It's like throwing in the chicken for free.

After that, I drove to the Best Western in Mt. Orab, got a shower and went to bed. I was going to have a long day and then a long drive home so I wanted as much sleep as I could. That didn't work out so well because I slept like crap. A few hours and I'd wake up. Maybe a few more hours of sleep and then awake again.

Well, at least I didn't have to get up early or rush anywhere the next morning.

The ground at the festival had really dried up by Sunday morning and, with the threat of rain long gone, attendance was apparently much improved.

As I was walking past one of the vendors selling heir braiding and face painting, they lept up to attend to what they perceived as a mustache emergency. Apparently the hair spray that I used to style my beard did not meet their standards. They insisted on waxing it.

Now, I've tried a few wax products previously but was unsatisfied with the results. Mostly, I think, I wasn't doing it correctly but had never bothered to spend the time to work it out. The hair spray was good enough. In this case, they used the Clubman natural and I think because it was warmed in the sun it performed better in the application than my previous attempt. Lessons learned.

I didn't participate in either the costume or the gadget contest. There were different people attending Sunday than were there on Saturday but I'd already won stuff that weekend. It didn't seem fair to compete again.

Even as the attendance was much more healthy on Sunday then it was on the soggy Saturday, several people commented on fewer steampunks. Saturday tends to be better days for nearly all convention goers so it shouldn't be surprising if Sunday was lighter

I was, of course, regularly mistaken for someone who worked there. Not surprising as I was costumed, wearing a badge and had been participating in the gunfights. Perhaps I should walk around with the pocket full of toy badges so that I could deputize kids.

I also spent a lot of time explaining what steampunk was. Again, not surprising, but I thought it might be a good idea to attempt to formalize it. I could set up a placard with a sign that says "Ask me about Steampunk" and spend time expounding on this genre of ours. Perhaps I could do a short presentation on stage between other shows as a quick introduction. I momentarily spoke to one of the people running the festival about it and gave him my card. Not sure if he'll respond to me directly.

I was gunned down two more times for the assembled's entertainment. I ended up being a bit sore in the neck and shoulder from the repeated falls.

I'm getting too old for this shit.