Beards for Beasts

This weekend was the first annual Steel City Beard and Mustache Competition sponsored by the Steel City Beard and Mustache Club with all proceeds to the Animal Rescue League (thus the "Beards for Beasts" title). I have been in similar competitions but always in the steampunk convention contest. This would be my first exposure outside of the genre.

Registration was at Dee’s Café on the South Side and, as it is a smoking establishment, after registration I went outside to wait. Several participants recognized the location for my being there (I am ironically reminded of the cigar store Indian) and a few yelled out of their vehicles to ask me about parking. Sorry, guys. This is the South Side on a Saturday. You’re going to be lucky to find on-street parking within three blocks of Carson Street.

There had been a lot of Facebook promises by those in the local steampunk community to attend but some recent events have hit pretty hard and, in the end, only two others showed up on event night itself.

After quite a long time of standing around outside, things coalesced to have the parade of beards. With a band at the lead, the assemblage marched down the street the several blocks to the Rex Theater, venue for the competition itself. Pedestrians, drivers and people enjoying happy hour at the bars along the way gaping at the spectacle.

There were a handful of dealers at the Rex. The SCBMC was selling shirts. There was a tobacconist. The Animal Rescue League had a table. I purchased a mustache mug from One Eyed Cat Curiosities and Crafts.

There was also a bar. If the two-plus hours of drinking at Dee’s Café hadn’t sufficiently lubricated the crowd, there was a bar at the Rex and opportunity for even more drinking before the competition got under way.

There was tremendous energy when the competition actually got under way. People were having a lot of fun. Most of the competitors were in t-shirts and otherwise casually clothed but a few, such as myself, were dressed up. There were a few kilts, some lederhosen and one Viking in full beer-can armor.

I won third in my category of partial beard-freestyle, which might seem impressive at first but given that there were only half a dozen participants in the category, it's not an impressive placement.



There was a raffle and I bought 20 tickets, putting most of them in the bin to win the basket of hot sauces. My daughter bought two tickets and threw them in the same basket. Just because one has a higher probability of winning does not mean that one will actually win. Yes, she won the hot sauce.

Next time, Gadget. Next time.